Always on my mind
by bloodyprussian
Summary: Feliciano becomes best friends and later falls in love with a boy that might not seem what he is.


That August day was pretty cold to be a summer day, even though it wouldn't be weird there in England. A light drizzle covered London, while a black Fiat 500 Large was stopping in front of a big house with a Victorian style.

The four main doors of the car opened at almost the same time. Two kids came out of it, also their mother, who was carrying a smaller boy in her harms, and a man who didn't seem to be the children's father.

- _Babo_ , I think we'll be really happy here –the woman said with a small smile on her face.

The man smiled to her daughter. – _Ma si, mia bella figlia_. Here my lovely grandsons will have the amazing and loving life they deserve.

While both of them were taking the luggage out of the car, the three kids were already inside of their new house. The oldest of them, a boy of six years old with brown hair that sometimes seemed kind of red and whose eyes were a mix of green and hazel, had his youngest brother in his arms, a baby of barely one year old with almost orange hair. The one of the middle, who was four years old and had brown hair with hazel eyes, was admiring thoughtfully every single detail of the place.

After one hour, the four year old boy decided to go out to play, his grandfather was watching over him by the front door.

Feliciano decided to sit under a tree that was located near the sidewalk, and was surprised at the sight of a small kid that was walking by. The Italian approached him with the intention of talking to him.

- _Ciao! Sono Feliciano!_ –he said, which caused a confused look appear on the strange blond kid.

Feliciano noticed that the boy's blond hair was messy and that he had big and bright green eyes, which were accompanied by really bushy eyebrows that somehow that fit perfectly with his whole appearance. He also seemed to be older than him.

- _Oh, non mi puoi capire?_ –and again, the Italian just got a confuse face in return.

Clearly the blond boy didn't speak Italian, and Feliciano was too young to understand English yet.

His grandfather walked over and stood next to him. He looked at his grandson confused an intrigued at the same time. – _Cosa sucede Feli?_

- _Voglio parlare con lui ma non mi capsice nonno_ –the fifty six year old man looked at Feliciano in surprise.

- _Uh, ti posso aiutare se vuoi_ –the small Italian started to nod in agreement enthusiastically.

He told his grandfather to ask for the boy's name, which he learnt it was Arthur, and then he also found out that this boy was the same age as his older brother.

Before being able to ask more questions, it started to rain heavily, which made both kids entered their respective houses. That night, during dinner, Feliciano rambled endlessly about Arthur, who he considered as a new friend. Although, he never heard what his grandfather had told her mother.

-At this age is normal, don't worry, it's just a phase –she had whispered to his dad, and then had kept his attention on his childs happiness.

\--o--

-Do you think the kids will like me? –Feliciano was now six years old and was about to begin his first day at school since he had arrived to England. His mother hadn't wanted to send him to school until he knew how to speak, write and understand English properly.

Arthur was lying on the Italian's bed and sighed before answering. –Of course they will. You are a really nice person and with good intentions, you shouldn't have trouble making friends.

-Thanks Arthur –said Feliciano, sitting on the wooden floor of his bedroom, which wasn't as cold as he had expected it to be.

The Englishman gave him a small and rare smile, mainly because he didn't smile much. –You're welcome, Feli.

The bedroom's door opened suddenly, to reveal the figure of a very pissed Lovino. Feliciano smiled at him. – _Fratello!_

- _Feliciano, chiudi la bocca. Non ho avuto un buon giorno_ –his older brother said, leaving his bag on his own bed.

The six year old boy frowned. –Lovi, don't speak in Italian. You know Arthur can't understand you and it's rude -That comment caught Lovino's attention, who was swearing under his breath in Italian since he had gotten into the room. The oldest Vargas bit his tongue in order to prevent what he really wanted to say.

He rolled his eyes before answering.

–I'm sorry, I won't do it again even though if the bastard doesn't know Italian is not my fault but yours.

Feliciano frowned. –How can it be my fault?

-Are you seriously telling me that in the past two years you weren't able to make him understand at least a little bit of Italian?

Before Feliciano could answer, Lovino had retired from the bedroom irritated. The one with hazel eyes sighed as a sign of frustration and sat next to his friend, who instantly gave him a tight hug.

Arthur was cold, he always was, but it turned out to be pretty comforting. The contrast between both body temperatures created a perfect balance that resulted comfortable for both of them. –You know that's not true Feli –The blond said making the Italian shake his head in disagreement.

Arthur sighed and started to stroke Feliciano's hair. –Feli, I mean it. Not everything your brother says is true. It is not your fault that I cannot understand certain language. That is only my fault for never wanting to learn anything about it.

-But everything is always my fault Artie, dad used to say that –the way he sounded so sad at saying that and how his voice broke down at the end of the sentence made Arthur's heart break.

Feliciano started to sob being comforted by his friend. The green eyed boy promised that he was going to show the Italian that what he thought about himself was wrong and that he, unlike the boy's father, was never going to leave him.

\--o--

Almost three years later, Feliciano was making pasta. With almost nine years old he was an expert when it came to cooking.

Arthur was standing by the kitchen's door frame, staring at him thoughtfully. –So it's only us for dinner, huh?

The Italian let out a brief laugh. –Yes. My brother is sleeping over at Antonio's; my mum is having double shift tonight and my nonno… I have no idea where he is, but he took Romeo with him. –Answered Feliciano while he was making the sauce.

The English boy looked at him kind of worried because of someone being so young being so close to the fire. –Don't you want me to help?

-No thanks Art. I have all under control –the younger one said, to then letting the sauce and throwing the spaghetti into the boiling water.

After this, Feliciano sat on one of the chairs that were located around the kitchen's table. His green eyed friend sat next to him.

-Arthur?

-Yes?

-Can you tell me more about your family? You barely say anything about them… -the English tensed at that, causing Feliciano to sigh resignedly.

Arthur rarely mentioned his family, which was absent 90% of the time. The blond practically lived in the Italian's residence.

-You don't have to if you don't want to –the one with hazel eyes said.

Arthur shook his head. –No, you are my friend, I believe is fair that you know more about them –The English boy closed his eyes before he started to talk-. My mother and my father live in Dublin, as you already know, while I'm here with my five brothers. We live from rent to rent, although we always stay inside London. When I was little we used to move around all the country, our parents were still living with us at the time. But that stopped once Peter, my younger brother, was born. After two months, our parents left us on our own and moved to Ireland, leaving us alone in this immense city.

-That sounds horrible –commented Feliciano pretty shocked, at this his friend gave him a sad smile.

-It is, although I've never had a good relationship with them. And about my brothers… they are okay I suppose, even though I can hardly see them. I wish I could introduce you to them someday. At least Dylan, he's the most… decent I believe.

Feliciano smiled. –I hope I could meet him and the others too.

Arthur's face showed something Feliciano couldn't figure out, but because of him being so young he didn't took notice of it. And then the phone rang.

Feliciano went to answer it. – _Pronto?_

-Uh, Feliciano?

-Oh, _Ciao Ludwig!_ How strange of you calling me this late…

-Um _ja_ , it was to inform you that with Kiku we uh… decided to do one of those things when people don't sleep and stay up all night watching movies and… yeah…

-Oh, a sleepover?

- _Ja_ , that. Tomorrow at eight thirty.

-I'd love to go!

-Perfect. I'll uh… I'll tell Kiku –the Italian's eyes shifted from the wall to where Arthur was sitting.

-Uh, Ludwig?

-Tell me.

-¿Can Arthur come too?

The line went silent for a few seconds before Ludwig answered. –A-Arthur? Um sure, there's no problem.

-Thanks Ludwig! _Ci vediamo domain!_

 _-Auf whiedersehen Feli._

After that, Feliciano hung up, retired the spaghetti from the fire and served his plate. Arthur insisted in preparing his dish by himself.

They both had dinner, with the sound of the TV in the background while the Italian talked about how awesome the sleepover they'd have next day would be. And in spite of that being the third night in a row that they ate alone, it didn't mattered. At least not to Feliciano, who was more than glad to have his best friend keeping him company.

\--o--

When Feliciano turned twelve years old he began to be more aware of certain things, one of them being how he truly felt about his best friend.

Was it common for a boy to like another boy?

Honestly, he knew that maybe it wasn't , but he also knew it wasn't wrong. If something his mother and grandfather had taught him was that love was love, no matter what.

Was it that he was feeling love?

Many people might question his judgment, but at the same time everybody has different thoughts about what love is.

And Feliciano was sure that that was love.

There were no doubts about it; he was in love with his best friend.

And he planned on telling him.

But fate had other plans.

The Italian came down the stairs; Arthur would be there anytime soon. At doing so, he was stopped by his older brother at the bottom of the stairs. –Lovi, move.

-Feliciano, the kitchen, now –the serious tone and look his brother had used were more than enough to do as he told.

He went straight to the kitchen, and when he had entered the place he saw his mother and his nonno were there too. The serious looks they both had on their faces made Feliciano worry.

-What's going on? –he asked before taking a seat.

Her mother and his grandfather shared a look before the older one started to talk. –Feli, _caro mio,_ we just wanted to talk about something, but we need you to listen and keep an open mind –The younger boy present nodded and Lovino sat next to him-. As you already know, you are twelve years old, which means you are not a little _bambino_ anymore. This also means that you are big enough to stop with certain things.

His mother was the next one to speak. –There are things Feli that we thought you'd stopped doing while growing up, but we realized that maybe this goes beyond the imagination of a small child who's seeking for a friend.

-I don't understand… what are you talking about?

Lovino sighed and looked at him, worry filling his eyes. –Feli… we believe you have schizophrenia.

Feliciano found the situation absurd, he would've laughed if it wasn't for how serious his brother had been about it. –What are you talking about? I don't have schizophrenia. Is this a joke?

-Feli, this is serious –his brother answered, who seemed to be the most emotionally stable of the three.

-How could you think about it?

-Arthur –was the only thing his grandfather said.

-What does Arthur have to do with this?

-Feli he's… he's not real.

The twelve year old boy was static. What? That was absurd!

-You're crazy. Arthur is real! You talked to him, and so did Ludwig and Kiku!

-Feli, we never saw o spoke to Arthur. We were just pretending because we thought he was just your imaginary friend. _Per favore_ , you have to believe us –her mother said with tears almost streaming down her face.

Feliciano ran upstairs and locked himself in his room

 _No, they're lying, this can't be true._

Of course Arthur was real, he'd always been there for him.

-Feli please, let me in –he could heard his brother said from the other side of the door.

 _He's real. Arthur is real._

 _He has to be… right?_

Tears were streaming down the Italian's face.

 _When he arrives they'll see._

Fifteen minutes passed.

Then thirty.

And then an hour.

Arthur never came.

\--o--

At seventeen years old, Feliciano was finally able to get out of the Psychiatrist London Hospital.

After almost five years of medication and weekly therapy sessions he was considered mentally stable.

He had accepted the truth few years ago, he'd been conscious of what was truly happening but he didn't want to accept it.

Even when Kiku, Ludwig, Lovino, Romeo, his mother and his grandfather threw him a 'Welcome Home' party, even when they cooked the pasta que liked so much, he still felt a huge void in his chest.

Because it didn't matter that it was a product of his imagination. He'd never forget the nights he spent having movie marathons when he was eight, or the midnight talks when he was ten, or those arms that comforted him when he was on his worst days.

And even as life goes on, he'd never get over it, real or not.

And maybe that's why that same night he had cried himself to sleep, with his older brother comforting him without knowing what to do exactly.

\--o--

Many years had passed. Feliciano was twenty one years old when he had opened his own restaurant. He studied to be a chef, something he was really fond of.

It was a cold August night, even though it was summer, when Feliciano decided to go to the rooftop of the restaurant, just to look at the stars.

He closed eyes and let the cold wind hit his face.

A thought that he hadn't had recently crossed his mind.

 _Arthur._

He missed him. He really did.

 _I wish you were real. I wish you were here, by mi side._

-Well, if that is what you want.

The Italian opened his eyes.

He was afraid to turn around.

 _It's just in my head. It's not real._

That's what he told himself, trying to not let the tears in his eyes fall.

Suddenly, something touched his shoulder.

A hand.

A warm hand.

Feliciano turned around and the tears he'd been managing to keep inside were now streaming down his face. –Arthur?

The Englishman smiled and hugged him tightly.

-This ca-an't be happening –the younger man stuttered.

Suddenly, the door that was connected to the stairs to get down of the rooftop opened.

- _Fratello_ , I've told you a million times to not let me alone at this time, there's a lot of people… oh, sorry. I didn't know there was someone with you up here uh… just come down when you can –said his younger brother before going back to work.

Romeo.

Romeo had just seen Arthur.

 _But that means…_

-You're real –Feliciano whispered.

-I am.

-How? - Arthur sighed and gave him a small smile before he started to talk.

-When a boy or a girl don't have an easy life, Heaven sends an angel to protect them. I'm an angel, Feli. Even though it sounds completely nuts, I am –the Italian's eyes widened at this; that was just insane.

-I know what you are thinking. That it is absurd. That it is not real. But let me explain you everything and you will see that it makes perfect sense –Arthur cleared his throat before speaking again-. Being your angel meant only you could see me. We can't let other see us. I was supposed to leave when you stopped needing me, and truth is I should've left when you turned nine years old… but I just couldn't. I couldn't just leave you, I was not going to be able to stand it.

-You made me believe I was crazy, all this time –said the Italian while tears kept streaming down his face and making the angel's heart break.

-I know and it was a mistake. It wasn't supposed to happen. I screwed up –he hugged the Italian again, feeling his throat hurt because of the lump that was forming in it-. When they took you to the hospital I tried to stopped it, but they wouldn't let me. They said those were the consequences we have to deal with when this happens.

Arthur looked at Feliciano straight in the eyes. The hazel eyed boy felt confused. –Consequences of what?

The Brit smiled sweetly. The younger man noticed how the blond one was on the verge of tears. –The consequences of an angel falling in love with the child they are supposed to take care of.

Feliciano couldn't stand it anymore.

All the hurt and sadness he felt suddenly vanished.

He ended the distances between the two of them, interlacing his arms around Arthur's neck and kissing him like he'd wished all those years. A kiss they never thought could be true.

They had to pull apart because of the lack of air and Feliciano was still unsure about lots of things. Even though that was a dream that just came true, certain things still worried him. –And what are we supposed to do now? I don't think every person that knows me would believe this…

Arthur shook his head. –No, that is true… but I have it covered.

-How?

The green eyed man sighed. –When I decided to come back to Earth I became a fallen angel; therefore I am as vulnerable as a human. I've decided that it was the right thing that they took away my wings and my powers just to be with you. But they also gave me the possibility of altering memories that people have of you talking about me. I can make as if you've never knew me. That those years in the hospital were just years you spent studying abroad… but only if you want to.

Feliciano looked at him in disbelief. –You know, this looks as a fiction book for teenagers. It sounds crazy, absurd and completely out of mind but… I'd rather be crazy with you than being sane and lose you again.

Both smiled. The light of the moon and the stars shone bright while his faces were full of feelings that could only be expressed by another passionate kiss.

 **Hi! So, this is the first time I've ever written something in English, I apologize for any mistakes (since I'm from Argentina and my mother tongue is Spanish). I completely forgot that in written dialogues in English I shoul've used "" instead of lines but oh well, I'm sorry.**

 **I don't even know if this is good but I hope you enjoyed it!**

 ** _¡Nos vemos!_**

 ** _-Nela_**


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